Nobody likes me. What can I do then?

Nobody likes me! Everything is stupid! All people are kind of weird! Do you know these thoughts? 



Do you know these thoughts: Nobody likes me, everything is stupid, all people are kind of weird?

What could I do then?

I could leave everything as it is. But that would be unpleasant. Because the problems and the discomfort would remain. But it would also be somehow comfortable, almost cuddly, because that’s my normal state, a state I know and am familiar with.

The second option is to change something. But what? I could write down what I don’t like. And then start to change something. The world is unfair. The world is dirty. The world does everything wrong. I could seek out like-minded people. I could join an influential, powerful movement. I could join people who really want to make a difference.

I will probably find that changes are not that easy. Maybe there is a change, but it doesn’t go far enough, too far, or in the wrong direction. And even if I succeed on one point. What about the other points? This one forest might be saved. And maybe we can save another forest. But can we save the entire Amazon jungle? That might be difficult.

It can be done a little smaller:

I might have a close, very dear person with whom I live. This is a great being, but unfortunately this being also has quirks. It drinks too much, watches too much TV, is only interested in soccer, it snores, always comes home late, doesn’t clean up….

What can I do? I can have a conversation with this person. Maybe this person will eventually say: You are right. I will change.

But after a week, things are lying around everywhere again. Or the TV will be on non-stop again.

I’ll probably find that it’s pretty hard to change a single person. Maybe it’s even a little harder to change the whole world. Keep trying. Only through such courageous, restless, discontented people something will change after all.

And what about me personally? I guess I’m still pretty dissatisfied, I think the world is unfair, people don’t understand me.

What would have gone wrong then?

Everything I did was directed outward, trying to change others.

The trick is to change the direction of your gaze. Not to look outward, but to look inward. How I feel depends very little on external circumstances. It depends mainly on my mind, on my own thoughts and feelings. And this inward look has a distinct advantage: it’s an area I can really change. I’m not saying it’s easy. But it is possible.

Maybe I can’t change the whole world until I like it. But maybe it works the other way around.

By changing myself, the world will seem completely different to me. Only in this way can I become permanently happy.

I can also get help. Maybe I have a dear trusted person who can help me. The others often see what is going on much more clearly than I do because they can see me. I may be too close.

My advice is to listen very carefully. Don’t immediately say, “He’s crazy. That’s not true. That can’t be at all. And anyway: You are stupid. And you make such and such mistakes. Pay close attention to what the others say. And then calmly check whether they are right or wrong.

When someone tells me the truth about myself, it is a very great gift. Everyone wants to hear only positive things about themselves. The gift is the negative things. Listen carefully to the people you consider enemies. They are more likely to tell you the truth.

And one way to gain insight is through meditation. That’s the way inward. Then I can see that I am not the center of the world. My own ego may get a little smaller. And I will understand others better.

And maybe the world will change – at least for me personally. Suddenly I will meet dear people. All the monsters will be gone. It could be that I wake up from a deep bad dream. Maybe then I can laugh out loud at myself. What a crazy person I was. Why didn’t I see this before? It was very clear before my eyes. The world is beautiful!


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